Hey ^__^

So this is my latest fanfiction, I know I said that Lily / James is something I'd never do ... but I did it and I must say that it turned out to be great fun. They are just so sweet and amusing to write. This is more or less a pure romance fic, so there won't be any Marauders adventures and I've decided to try and focus on Lily & James, but there will be a bit of Sirius, Peter and Remus and an OC, too.

The fic takes part in Lily & James's seventh and final year at Hogwarts, Lily is Head Girl and James Head Boy (as you probably all already know). Of course Lily hates James ... he's so immature sometimes! But James just can't resist that beautiful red-head.
I can sense trouble ... ^__^

I tried to stay as original and imaginative as possible with those two adorable characters ... I'd love to hear your opinion!








A Beautiful Night


Prologue

I hate him. I truly do. He's the most annoying prat I know. All he ever does is get on my nerves and he thinks he's being amusing and most of all witty. Actually he's a sad case. But why doesn't he just at least try to act normal? But then, who could possibly be normal with those friends of his? But since he seems to be something like their leader I consider him worst.

He's just incredibly immature. Sometimes I think there's nothing but sawdust in his head. He's cruel and most of all pathetic. Some people don't mind him. People unlike me. I mind him minding my business and I mind him - well, I just mind him.

And I still haven't figured out why Dumbledore hasn't expelled them yet. All of them. Pettigrew, Lupin, Black and him of course. I don't even want to think of him or his name but most of the time I'm forced to since he's (I know it's incromprehensible) Head Boy. And to my utter displeasure I have to work together with him as Head Girl.

It's as though my worst nightmare has suddenly become real. Except that I'll never be able to wake up. I could of course hex him and lock him in the broom cupboard but that's not a real solution. He'd find a way to get out just to annoy me.

I'll have to live with it. That is, if I survive my seventh and last year at Hogwarts as Head Girl. I always loved this place but now I just hate everything about it. Even my giggling friends who find it all very amusing. They just can't stay serious for longer than two seconds, it's all very frustrating and there's nobody to talk to.

Not that I feel like talking to anybody at the present time, anyway. To be honest, I never really felt like talking to anybody since I met James Potter. Who could I have confided in? If I ever did confide in one of my friends they just said something like: "He's not that bad, is he?" Of course he's THAT bad. He's even worse.

He thinks he likes me. But he doesn't even know me. And he never will know me, I'll make sure of that. If I could I'd resign from being Head Girl.

"Stop pitying yourself, Lily", Catherine said yesterday. How could I possibly stop pitying myself? I'M STUCK WITH JAMES POTTER, HASN'T ANYBODY NOTICED YET??



I love her. I really do. She's the most beautiful girl I have ever met. She's everything to me, when we discuss Head stuff it's like we've known us forever. It's like we belong together. I just look at her and know what she's about to say. I know so much about her, the way her hair sparkles in the sunlight, the exact colour of her lips and the way she moves, walks and talks.

I've always loved her. Well, maybe not always but at least since fourth year. And I know that one day she will realise that we are simply meant to be. We are like ice and fire but that's exactly why we should be together. We'd be a great match. A spellbinding match.

My mates say I'm a helpless case in the romantic department and always will be but this year everything will be different – I know it, I can feel it. Dumbledore has made me Head Boy and I know that I won't disappoint him, I've matured and I'm responsible (of course only to a certain extent but you should never push things too far).

And now I'll finally be able to show Lily how honest and serious I can be. Of course I won't become swotty or anything, no, I'll still be good old James but I'll just play nicely in front of Miss Evans.
But I won't stop having occaisonal fun for her. Once or twice a month or every two weeks or maybe even every three days - or every two hours. Who cares really? A bit of Snivelly here, a bit of Snivelly there. All a James Potter needs.

My mates don't understand the state of total amorousness I am in. They've never been totally blinded by love. Anyway, I doubt Wormtail and Padfoot think girls are more than just simple objects to snog. And Moony never talks about girls.

I wish I could tell somebody about Lily. But there's nobody I could confide in. I hate the smirk on Padfoot's face whenever I mention her and Wormtail's isn't any better, it fact, it makes him look quite scary, to be honest. And Moony just sits there and says nothing but I know what he's thinking. He thinks I'm not ready for a serious relationship anyway because I'm too immature. He thinks all I ever want to do is snog and get on other people's nerves. Which is not entirely true. I like to snog, there's no denying that but there are more important things than annoying other people. For example annoying Snivelly and prowling the school and being popular and so on.

But Moony is a bit on the narrow-minded side. I for example already consider the fact that I call Lily "Lily" the first step to adulthood. Last year she was simply "Evans". But Moody doesn't think that's a first step to glorious adulthood. He's so annoying sometimes. I asked him why and he simply smiled wisely and said: "One day you will understand, Prongs." He's so full of himself.

Of course I never complain about my mates which shows my great dignity of soul. Yes, I am quite proud of myself sometimes. And I'll sort out things with Lily. It can't be that hard, can it? She's only human after all. She'll fall for me eventually.

I'm pretty sure about that. Pretty, pretty sure. But then, Moony says there's a difference between being sure and being hopeful. I don't quite get that one, though.


© Liza,
November 2006

Congratulations on a well-written and evocative opening!

I seldom read teenage romance (or anything like usual romance stories) but I'll be tempted to come back to this thread. You write the two teenager voices so convincingly. The sequences of short phrases flow effortlessly, and you've built up a poignant contrast between the character's opinions of each other.

I'm curious to see how you'll continue this. Will you stick to the two alternating monologues, or was that only your technique for the prologue? I wouldn't mind seeing more conventional narrative with concrete situations and dialogue (and quite a lot of Remus and Peter, and the whole context of the community at Hogwarts, too).

Above all, I wonder how you'll manage to make these two into a couple. Since you've revealed their inner feelings and thoughts to us, there's no possibility for incorrect interpretations. Your Lily is (still during the seventh year) serious and disapproving of all Marauder fun, and your James is (still) truly immature.

Thank you so much for your reply, Eija.

I'm glad you like the way I opened this fic, and that was only my technique for the prologue because I have the feeling it would get boring after two or three chapters. So I'll stick to my usual way of writing

I will try and bring in as many characters as possible without distracting from Lily / James. Remus and Peter will definitely be mentioned a lot seeing as they are James's mates. I will also try to fit a couple of Lily's friends in.

*grins* Yes, Lily is very serious and she hates James more than anybody else. I've already written some crucial scenes and I hope the way they get together will seem realistic and sweet just like I imagined it to be


Thanks for taking the time to read and review, I really appreciate that.

Since I had quite a lot going on in my life I sadly wasn't able to write much but I'll be posting the first chapter soon. Really happy you enjoyed the prologue!


Liza

Aww poor Lily she really is miserable for having to work with James; I loved the part where she says is her worst nightmare come true hehehe... and James he's still so immature, yes he's grown up but still he's not quite ready for Lily yet at least that's how I sense it... and I love the way you portray Lupin... nice start!!

Isabel: Thank you very much for your review, I'm really glad that you enjoyed the opening. Oh yes ^__^ Lupin is a very sensible boy but on the other hand he loves to mess around with the other Marauders. I'm happy you like him, he'll definitely be right there beside James throughout the whole story. As for Lily ... yes, she is very displeased about the fact that she has to work together with James. Quite understandable, he was an arrogant git in his fifth year. But the things have changed. I hope she'll realise that eventually And James *grins* You're right, he's still pretty immature but as you rightly pointed out, he has changed. Otherwise Dumbledore wouldn't have made him Head Boy ;} But he'll still have to prove Lily that he can be caring and affectionate and most of all sensible.
Let's wait and see ... ^__^

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing and of course enjoying! ;]







James Potter couldn't put his feelings for Lily Evans into words. They were too complex, too wonderful to describe. He looked right through every other girl else apart from Lily, his best mate always told him that it was unhealthy to have an obsession but James didn't think that he was obsessed with Lily. So she was his everything. So she haunted his dreams. So he thought about her twelve hours a day. So he pictured being alone with her in the Room of Requirement -

But he definitely wasn't obsessed with her. He just couldn't imagine living without her. That was why he hated thinking about his NEWTs or the end of the school year when he would be leaving Hogwarts for good. He didn't want to think about his life after Hogwarts because he knew that his life wouldn't be worth living without Lily.

And he wouldn't be able to see Lily after Hogwarts. She would go and live somewhere else. He felt a painful sensation spread through his mind and body whenever he thought of leaving her to go and live somewhere where he wouldn't be able to see her every day - go and live somewhere else with a man - A man other than him.

James sighed and stared at his reflection in the mirror. What was so wrong with him? What made him look so disgusting that Lily didn't want to have anything to do with him? Did his hair really look that strange because it was a bit untidy? "Of course I'm not perfect", he told himself truthfully. "But I'm not that bad, either."

And he had proven that he had matured. Dumbledore hadn't made him Head Boy for no reason at all. He had proven that he was worthy of being trusted. Then why couldn't Lily see how he had changed? "There has to be a reason", James said quietly, rubbing his eyes thoughtfully.

He bit his lip and turned away from his reflection. He didn't want to stare into his eyes anymore and know that Lily would never look into them with anything else but hatred in her face. "Get over her, Potter", he told himself. Then he let out a laugh. How could anyone get over someone like Lily Evans? Someone as special and precious as her?

He loved the way her hair sparkled in the sunlight when they left for Care of Magical Creatures every Wednesday afternoon. And he simply adored the way she played with it whenever she was confused. He knew what made her smile and what could really upset her. He knew her favourite colour and that she loved chocolate ice cream.

Sometimes he thought that he knew her better than she knew herself. Did she know that she looked even cuter than usual when she was angry with him? Did she know that she scratched her nose whenever she was trying to work something out? Did she know that her cheeks always turned slightly pink as soon as she left the castle in winter?

Sometimes James had the feeling that he would give up everything he had just to see her smile. Sometimes he also thought that if she asked him to never look at her again he would do it because he just wanted her to be happy.

But there were also other days on which he wanted to shout at her for ignoring him or telling him how absolutely stupid he looked. But he never felt angry with her for longer than two seconds. She was too beautiful to hate. He loved her sparkling green eyes and shiny red hair. He loved the graceful way she walked and the adorable way she talked and underlined important statements with her hands.

Sighing, James left for breakfast in the Great Hall. The first thing he did in the morning when he entered the Hall was to make sure that Lily was sitting at her usual seat at the Gryffindor house table. He deliberately always came too late for breakfast so she would notice him and McGonagall's disapproving looks he was earning just for her.

It was the same procedure every morning. He walked into the Great Hall to a mass of laughing and chatting students and McGonagall shot him a stern glance and he sat down next to Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, two of his best mates. Then he slowly looked up into Lily's startling green eyes and was disappointed because they weren't twinkling pleasantly and she wasn't smiling, happy to see him. No, they were cold and her jaw was clenched.

"Good morning, Lily", he said, offering a warm smile. She didn't even bother to respond. And it were those moments that made him realise how much she hated him. And there was only one question tormenting him as he ate his porridge in silence. Why? Why did she hate him? What had he done to her?

"Did you get to finish your Astronomy homework this morning, Prongs?", Sirius asked him casually, playing with his piece of toast. James looked at him out of the corner of his eyes.

"No." He swallowed hard. He didn't want to tell Sirius that he had spent the whole morning in front of the mirror, wondering why Lily didn't seem to like his appearance. "What were you up to then?", Sirius asked curiously, taking a large gulp of iced orange juice.

James shrugged. "This and that", he replied, avoiding Sirius's gaze. "This and that meaning Lily", Sirius grinned amusedly, looking over to Lily and her friends who were giggling. "No, this and that meaning this and that", James said hotly.

"It's OK to be in love." Sirius ran a hand through his sleek hair and greeted a passing Ravenclaw sixth year with long, curly hair and a pretty face. "Rachel", he informed James with a smirk. "Cool girl, always up to no good."

"Your new girlfriend?", James asked. "Not yet." Sirius grinned. "How come you get every girl you want?", James sighed, putting his spoon aside, not remotely hungry anymore. "Dunno." Sirius shrugged. "They like me."

"Anyway, why are complaining, mate? You could have any girl you want to, too." Sirius furrowed his brow and poured himself some more orange juice. "Not any girl, Padfoot", James sighed. "Any girl apart from Lily Evans."

"Well, Evans is not worth being depressed. So cheer up!", Sirius grinned, nodding at two brown-haired girls passing the Gryffindor table. "You're not a real help, you do know that, don't you?", James sighed irritatedly.

Sirius gave James one last grin before turning to face Remus and Peter Pettigrew. James stared at his porridge and then pushed it away. Shaking his head slowly, he risked a glance at Lily who was playing with a strand of hair. It felt like a dream come true – she was Head Girl and he was Head Boy.

But their first official meeting on the Hogwarts Express had still been a total fiasco. James didn't really want to relive that painful memory but he couldn't help it as he stared at Lily.

James looked over his shoulder to see if Sirius, Remus and Peter were really behind him. They had been taking the mickey out of him for having been made Head Boy ever since he had told them the news in Diagon Alley about a week ago.

"Out of the way, here comes the new Head Boy!", Peter was shouting. A bunch of second-years took a quick glance at James and smiled. "Hi", James greeted them in spite of the shiny badge pinned to his jumper. Finally he had achieved something to be proud of.

He had tried to be kind and reasonable all throughout his sixth year and Dumbledore had really made him Head Boy. He still couldn't quite believe it, it still seemed unreal. He now wasn't only Quidditch Captain but also Head Boy. Hogwarts Head Boy. "How cool is that?", he whispered to himself as he entered an empty compartment behind Remus.

"I have to pop into the Head compartment first and then instruct the new prefects, so I won't be able to hang around with you guys much. You understand, don't you?", James asked his mates, annoyed by the smirk on Sirius's face. "Yes, Prongs, we know that you have now moved on to bigger and better things", he said.

"I haven't moved on to bigger and better things, Padfoot, and you know that! I'm still good old Prongs and I always will be. I just have some other duties now, too", James replied stiffly. "Well get a move on then", Remus sighed but he was smiling pleasantly.

James nodded thankfully. At least Remus was behaving normally. With one last glance at Peter and Sirius, James left the compartment and made his way past a group of fourth-years. He already knew where the Head compartment was and he was proud to be authorized to touch the doorknob and push the door open.

He sat himself at the table and stared out of the window, biting his lip nervously. He didn't know who had been made Head Girl but he knew who he wanted it to be. Lily. Feeling his heart beating faster and faster, he tried to think of something to say to her if she really had been made Head Girl and entered the compartment -

"Oh, Lily. I see you've been made Head Girl, I know that Dumbledore's made the right decision already." Or maybe something less cheesy? "Hi Lily, come on in." James shook his head desperately. He needed something really cool to say, something that would sweep her off her feet, something that would take her breath away.

James jumped as the door flew open and felt his jaw drop. He quickly tried to say something nice and smile warmly but his smile looked more like a frown and all he was able to say was: "Hey, Lily. Nice to see you."

She raised her eyebrows and brushed a strand of hair out of her beautiful face. "I'm sorry but I think you're in the wrong compartment", she said coldly, surveying him through her startling green eyes. James immediately felt anger overwhelm him. How could she? "Sorry to disappoint you but I was made Head Boy."

"Oh." She smirked. "Well, then I'll just take a seat and we'll get on with stuff." As he watched her sit down and rush a hand through her hair he felt sorry for snapping at her. She looked amazing in her blue t-shirt, he noticed that her skin was tanned and that her face had become freckly. It only made her look even cuter.

"I like your new t-shirt", he said. It just had to be new, he knew all of her other clothes off by heart, he knew that she had two pairs of jeans and about twenty different t-shirts. Well, twenty-one if you considered the fact that she had bought a new one.

"Thank you", she answered stiffly, avoiding his gaze. "Well, we have to tell the new prefects what to do soon, so I'll just get on with my introduction", she added. "But I already know you", James smiled. "Oh, do you?" She glowered at him. "If you think so."

"No, that's - I just - I know what you're like and - you know", James stammered, blushing a deep shade of magenta. "You know nothing about me, Potter. You're just an annoying, attention-seeking idiot and so ignorant that you wouldn't even know me if I told you everything about me", Lily said coolly, tossing her hair back.

"Whatever." James shook his head. "Oh and by the way, you don't have to introduce yourself, either. Because I don't even want to know what you're like", she said, folding her arms and looking away from him.

"I'm going to the new prefects now, you don't have to come, I'll do it on my own because you evidently don't feel like being in my company", James told her calmly, getting up and walking over to the door. "I'm going with you, Potter. But only because I'm taking my duties seriously." Lily pursed her lips and followed him out of the compartment and down the corridor to the prefects' compartment.

All throughout their introduction to the prefects and their speech, James felt like hitting Lily for making snide remarks about him whenever she got the chance to. He hated her for the livid looks she was shooting him constantly and for the cockiness with which she moved around the compartment.

He hated her for attracting the attention of the male prefects, he hated her for the way she always cut across him and ignored him completely in the end. He hated everything about her because he couldn't help but love her with all his heart.

"Potter! For Merlin's sake, get on with it", she hissed at him out of the corner of her mouth. "Sorry", he mumbled. "Right, where were we?"

"Oh, just forget it", she spat angrily, continuing the speech herself. James sighed. He felt like hitting his head against something very hard. He had to pay attention, he had to prove Lily that he was ready for this.

As soon as the prefects had all left to patrol the corridors, he turned to face Lily and quickly started to apologise. "I'm sorry for not really having payed attention, I was sort of distracted. Distracted by - everything. The whole situation. But I'm ready for this, you have to believe me. I'll show you. Just give me some time."

"Breathe and listen to me", Lily said. "I do not care about you or anything that has to do with you, do you understand? I don't care if you jump off this train, I don't care if you nail your shoes to the compartment door, I just do not care about you. I'm stuck with you as Head Boy and that's really bad enough, don't make things worse by talking to me if what you're talking about has nothing to do with Head business, OK?"

James stared at her as though she had slapped him hard around the face. He felt like running. Running a thousand miles and leaving her behind, leaving everything behind. The shame, his feelings for her, his new duties -

He took a deep breath. "OK, that's fine with me", he said coolly, leaving the prefects' compartment and stepping out onto the corridor. It was everything else but fine with him. He staggered towards his mates' compartment, trying hard not to slam his fist against the wall.

He slid the compartment door open and stared at Sirius, Remus and Peter who were happily playing a game of Exploding Snap. How could they? "Hi", he said quietly. "Hey, how did your first meeting go? Who's the new Head Girl?", Remus asked curiously.

"Leave me alone", James mumbled. "New Head Girl is Lily Evans", he added just so the others would know why he was feeling like jumping off the top of a tower block. "Ouch", Sirius sighed. "Really sorry, mate."

James shrugged, staring out of the window at the passing scenery. "I'll be OK. In five to ten years." He tried to grin at his own joke but he couldn't. Lily's harsh words were echoing in his head.

Thinking back James wondered how he had managed to actually get off the train and into one of the horseless carriages that took the students up to the castle from Hogsmeade Station. And how had he been able to eat and talk?

"We're just getting our stuff, that's what you should be doing, too", Remus said with a frown. "I'm coming in a minute", James said, sipping at his pumpkin juice. He didn't feel like a day of sitting in eight different classes, taking down notes and being sorry for himself.

He felt like doing something really crazy for a change and forgetting all about his Head Boy badge. His eyes fell upon Severus Snape who was just making his way out of the Great Hall. James longed to run up to Snape and do something extremely funny with the greasy-haired Slytherin seventh-year.

Sighing deeply, James noticed that his life had been reduced to doing school and Head stuff. How many times had he already refused to prowl the school alongside his best mates? His fingers were already stiff from having not used a wand for so long. This just wasn't his life, it was the life of a swotty, annoying little prat.

James pushed his chair back and quickly hurried after Remus, Sirius and Peter. "Guys, wait for me!", he shouted across the Great Hall. Sirius spun around, his face cracking into a pleased grin. "Finally Prongs!", he said. "I just can't stay another day at Hogwarts without having tossed dear old Snivelly up into the air a bit", James sighed, already getting his wand out of his black school robes.

"What about your shiny Head Boy badge and Lily's affection?", Peter asked, grinning bemusedly. James ruffled his hair like in his fifth year and started laughing. "I couldn't care less, I just want to have some fun for a change! Let's pay Snivellus a visit and then go and look for some good-looking girls."

"Now that's a good boy, Prongs", Sirius smirked. James grinned in return and left the Great Hall together with his mates, feeling happy and content for the first time in a week. He realised how he had missed their pranks and jokes. How he had missed sitting at the lake, greeting passing girls and messing his hair up casually.

He could have burst out singing as they approached Snape. It was so wonderful to be thinking of something other than Lily, it was wonderful to be together with Sirius, Remus and Peter again, not to be wondering if his badge matched his clothes.

It was wonderful to be James again.





The Marauders first lesson that day was Charms. James found it hard to concentrate on what tiny Professor Flitwick was lecturing them about. It had been fun to mess around with his mates again but he had also missed glancing at Lily and admiring the way her hair danced about her shoulders.

He had missed seeing her smile and missed her looks in his direction even though they were full of hatred. He sighed and tried to watch Flitwick instead of Lily but she was laughing her tinkling laugh and whenever she did that he couldn't help but stare.

If she could only see how caring and kind he could be. If she could only see how much he loved her. But she simply looked right through him even when he was standing right in front of her, she just didn't want to have anything to do with him. He knew that he had to get used to the thought but he just didn't want to.

Why was life so complicated? No, not life, he thought, shaking his head. Girls. Girls were complicated. Actually there was only one complicated girl at Hogwarts - Lily Evans. James wasn't able to understand why she disliked him when all the other girls loved him.

"Can you or can you not answer my question, Mr Potter?", Professor Flitwick said impatiently. James frowned and quickly tried to think of something clever to respond. But after a couple of seconds of silence he answered: "I wasn't listening, sir."

Flitwick sighed. "This is your NEWT year, Mr Potter. You should really be paying attention. Otherwise you won't be able to do your homework correctly. And then you will fail your test. We don't want that to happen, do we?" Flitwick eyed James sternly. "No, we don't", James replied quietly, ignoring Sirius who was giggling madly next to him.

"Right, then let's get on with things", Flitwick muttered. James tried to listen to what he was saying but his words were annoying him like a fly buzzing around his head on a hot summer's day. Sirius and Peter were playing cards under their desks and Remus was doing his Divination homework.

James longed to get out of the classroom and into the grounds. He longed to feel the sun caress his face and hands, longed to seriously have some fun. He longed to sit in the shade of a huge tree and play with a Snitch. Longed to soar around a packed Quidditch stadium.

He was so deep in thought that he only realised that the lesson was over when Sirius started smacking him on the head with his wand. "Stop that!", James laughed, taking the wand off Sirius and sprinting towards the door, his bag in one hand, the wand in the other. He could feel Lily's disapproving looks but still he didn't slow down.

Sirius was rushing after him, followed by Remus and Peter. "Stop the thief!", Sirius was shouting, not quite able to suppress a grin. People were now giggling and pointing at the three boys who were chasing James along the many corridors. James looked over his shoulder and was pleased to see that he was way ahead of his mates.

"You'll never catch me!", he laughed. "Mr Potter!"

James almost let out a high-pitched shriek as he collided painfully with Professor McGonagall. She managed not to fall over but her glasses were askew and she looked livid. "Mr Potter, tell me how old you are", she scowled. "Seventeen", James muttered, blushing. "Then stop behaving like a five-year-old", McGonagall said angrily and swiftly walked past him.

James resisted the urge to pull a face behind her back and simply handed Sirius his wand. "Thanks", Sirius grinned and bowed. "Shut up." James shook his head, staring after McGonagall. "Miserable old bat."

"Now, now. We don't want to hear those words from our dear Head Boy", Remus grinned, patting James on the back. "Let's go", James muttered. Why was everything bothering him so much? A couple of years ago he would have laughed along with his mates but at the moment he felt like punching them instead of chuckling about their comments.

Had he really changed that much? Had he become boring and swotty? James swallowed hard and tried messing up his black hair like he had always done back in his fifth year. It didn't seem possible anymore, not now, now that he loved Lily more than ever before and that Dumbledore had put his faith in him and made him Hogwarts Head Boy.

"Prongs? Are you coming?" Sirius furrowed his brow and stared at James through his sparkling eyes. James blinked and stared back at his best mate. "What? Oh - sorry, yeah, sure", he quickly said, catching up with the other Marauders.


---

© Liza,
December 2006 and January 2007 (edited for spelling and minor flaws)

This is a nice start, Liza. I really like your extensive detail in this story, especially within the first chapter. The detail is so vivid - for example, the way you describe Lily or even a simple classroom - that I can visually follow the plot within my head. Great work. ^__^

I thought this was too funny:



Uh...is James swinging the other way? LOL. He's a little too obsessive, I really hope that he'll grow out of that. And Lily is so mean to him! I really hope these are only first impressions, because it seems like they'll never get together! But we know they will.

Post more when you can!

Now James sounds mature enough for Lily, its her indifference that makes him fall back into his old habits. It's so weird to find James in love and suffering for Lily, of him thinknig how simplier his life was when he didn't love her, and why is it exactly that she doesn't like him... it's really sweet to find James is this state... nice going Liza!!

Liliana: I'm glad you like the opening of my story, the first chapter wasn't too easy to write. But the prologue was really fun ^__^ Omg, thanks for pointing that out ... that really sounds a bit .. well, strange. I think I'm going to have to change that bit because James definitely isn't swinging the other way. And yeah, he is pretty obsessive but Lily is so special to him that he just doesn't want anybody else even laughing about her jokes. He's just scared that he will never see her again after Hogwarts and that a different guy will get her. *grins* Yeah, Lily is pretty mean. Actually I pity James more than her ... but don't worry, they will get together eventually. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.

Isabel: James is a bit confused at the moment, he doesn't know whether he should stick to his mates and get into trouble with them like in old days or whether he should be a good boy for Lily's sake because Lily means a lot to him. ^__^ James is so in love, you're right and he's suffering pretty much at the moment but maybe it'll only do him good Thanks for taking the time to read and review again.


Thank you guys! xx


Here comes chapter 2 from Lily's POV ...







Lily Evans waited patiently in the Head room for James Potter to join her for their second official meeting. She had brought some books with her because it had been clear to her that James would be too late. With a deep sigh she checked her watch. "Ten minutes, Potter", she muttered to herself as she snapped the book she had been reading shut.

A couple of seconds later the door burst open and James rushed into the room. "I'm really sorry, Lily", he panted, sitting down opposite her. "Ten minutes", Lily said coolly. "You're ten minutes late." "I know, Remus was helping me with my Transfiguration homework and we sort of forgot the time", James explained desperately.

Lily flicked her hair back in a casual way and took out a blank piece of parchment. "We should start talking about Hallowe'en", she said. "Yeah." James nodded. "So we're supposed to enchant the pumpkins?", he asked with a grin. "That'll be fun."

"We have to fetch them from Hagrid and then bring them up to the Great Hall where we will enchant them. I hope that's not too much for you", Lily corrected him, scribbling something on the piece of parchment. "What are you writing?", James asked curiously. "I'm writing down all the things we have to get done for Hallowe'en", Lily replied, biting her lip thoughtfully. "Apart from enchanting the pumpkins we also have to conjure some bats."

"True", James said with a nod. "Maybe we should practice a bit?", he suggested, remembering that he wasn't too good at conjuring things. "You want to practice conjuring?", Lily snorted. "Well, not really", James quickly said, blushing a deep shade of pink.

Lily shook her head with a smile. "If you're not good at conjuring it would really be better for you to practice a bit. Why don't you ask Lupin or Pettigrew to help you?" James met her gaze. "I was only joking, I don't need help with conjuring. Conjuring is a piece of cake." Lily's eyebrows shot up. "Whatever."

James watched her hand slide across the piece of parchment, writing at top-speed. "How do you that?", he asked her, impressed. "Do what?", she replied confusedly, furrowing her brow. James hated those moments that seemed to last forever. The moments that made his hands go sweaty.

She looked so beautiful when she was bewildered. He felt the sudden urge to touch her lips with his. Not the urge to snog her like he had snogged so many other girls. Simply the wish to taste her lips and see her smile at him. The wish to make her happy and content.

Finally he was able to speak again. "How do you manage to write that fast?", he asked her, sincerely hoping that nothing inappropriate would slip out of his mouth now that it was open. She adjusted the piece of parchment and looked past him. "I – unlike you – do my homework which means that I often have to write quite a bit. But why am I even bothering to tell you? It is clear to me that you have no idea what the word homework' means because it is what normal students do in the evening or in their spare time."

James gaped at her, having the horrible impression that he was looking like some sort of human goldfish. But he couldn't help it – he needed to think of something very witty and cool to say, something that would completely astonish her. "I - I am as normal as a - erm - normal person."

Great. Really great, James, he thought helplessly. You always have to stuff it up, don't you? That wasn't witty, that wasn't even pathetic.

Lily stared at him for a second. Then she started laughing uncontrollably. She knew that she was giggling like a crossing between a hyena and a pig but she wasn't able to stop now that she had started. "Sorry", she snorted.

"No problem", James muttered with a shrug. Even when she was laughing like some mad person she looked unbelievably beautiful. He felt his heart ache at the thought of how he would probably never be able to hold her in his arms. How he would never be able to pluck up the courage to ask her out again after what had happened back in their fifth year.

Lily managed to catch her breath and quickly brushed strands of gleaming red hair out of her face. "I'm sorry", she muttered, clearly quite embarrassed. "Don't worry. I don't mind", James replied, glad that she had found his idiotic comment amusing. "We should get back to work", she said quietly.




Lily walked up a flight of marble stairs and greeted Emily Sanderson, a Hufflepuff sixth year who she knew from the Rambling Association they had both joined. "How are you?", Emily asked, stopping to have a talk with Lily. Lily shrugged. "OK, and you?" Emily smiled. "I heard you're Head Girl. Enjoying yourself?" Lily let out a laugh. "Not really. Potter is Head Boy, who could possibly enjoy herself with him around?"

"I could", Emily grinned. "I think he's pretty funny. Ah well, I have to get going now. I'm the new Hufflepuff Quidditch Captain and I have to get some things sorted out for the tryouts", she said, sighing. "There's so much going on at the moment, I have no idea when I'm supposed to do my homework."

Lily patted her shoulder compassionately. "You'll manage somehow." Emily grinned. "I hope so. You guys have a great team this year and since Potter's Captain you've been winning so many games, our team hardly has the guts to walk onto the pitch when people from your team are watching." She sighed. "I'm going to have a hard time as Captain. Slytherin has a new Seeker and he's supposed to be superb. Gryffindor is pretty much unbeatable and Ravenclaw is great, too."

Lily forced an understanding smile even though she firstly didn't understand why everyone worried so much about Quidditch and secondly wasn't remotely interested in Emily's problems as the new Hufflepuff Captain.

"See you sometime, I really have to hurry", Emily said, giving Lily a quick, one-armed hug. Then she rushed down the staircase and out into the grounds. Lily looked after her, watching her curtain of sleek black hair dance about her shoulders. After Emily had gone, Lily approached the entrance to the Gryffindor common room which was guarded by the portrait of a fat lady in a pink silk dress.

"Password?", the Fat Lady asked, pinching her cheeks absent-mindedly. "Amortentia", Lily said, yawning widely. She hadn't slept well and the meeting had been quite exhausting, actually all she wanted was to drop into bed. "Too right you are, dearie", the Fat Lady smiled and the portrait swung open to reveal a huge, circular room.

Lily stepped inside, looking about for her friends Catherine, Georgia, Zoe and Abby. They weren't sitting by the fireplace as she had expected. Shrugging, she walked past a group of excited second-years and up to her dormitory.

Georgia and Catherine were sitting on Zoe's bed, giggling madly and whispering. "Hi guys." Lily closed the door with a snap and fell onto her bed, rubbing her tired eyes. "How did it go?", Abby asked interestedly. "Dunno. Nothing much happened", Lily replied lazily. "Did Potter behave himself?", Georgia grinned, glancing at Lily over the top of Catherine's head.

"Pretty much." Lily shrugged. Somehow she didn't feel like talking about the meeting with her friends. She rolled over onto her side and closed her eyes, trying to ignore Georgia and Catherine who had burst into loud laughter. "Really? That's so unbelievable, Cath!", Georgia squealed, nearly knocking Catherine of the bed in her excitement.

"I'm trying to relax", Lily reminded them in a muffled voice because she was squashing her face into her pillow. "Sorry", Catherine muttered.

"Dinner in half an hour", Zoe noticed, taking a look at her watch. "Great, I haven't finished my Astrology homework yet. I'll have to do it after dinner", Catherine sighed. "Speaking of homework - can I copy your Arithmancy homework, Lily?", Abby asked hopefully. "Yes, it's in my bag", Lily mumbled, her eyes still shut.

"Thanks, I love you", Abby said delightedly and grabbed Lily's old bag that had been with her since her very first year at Hogwarts. "Guess what I found out today!", Zoe suddenly said loudly. Even Lily sat up in bed to listen to the news. "We'll be playing our first Quidditch match against Hufflepuff", Zoe announced. Since she was one of Gryffindor's Chasers she always knew what was going on in the "Quidditch department", as Georgia liked to call it.

"Emily Sanderson is their new Captain", Lily said, thinking of their conversation. "Emily?", Catherine blurted out, her eyes widening with shock. "She's an unbeatable Chaser! Probably the best Chaser Hufflepuff's had in a century!"

"Yeah, but the rest of the team is totally useless", Zoe grinned. "There's this weird Beater who misses every second Bludger and this Keeper that nearly crashes into the goalposts every time he circles around them." Zoe was clearly enjoying that memory.

"But Emily - she's really good", Zoe sighed. "Even James said she's about as good him and you know that James doesn't like admitting that someone is as good as him at something as important as Quidditch." Lily let out a derisive snort. "Is that what he tells you? That he's such a great Quidditch player and everything?" She shook her head agitatedly. "Gosh, that guy makes me sick!"

"Come on, Lily. You can't deny that he's a really talented Chaser", Georgia said with a frown. "I'm good at Potions and I don't go around and tell everyone how absolutely great I am, do I?", Lily replied heatedly. "Calm down!", Abby muttered out of her corner where she was copying Lily's homework.

"Potter is an annoying big-headed prat and he doesn't even deserve such players as you on his team, Zoe. And it's because of girls like you that look up to him that he's so arrogant and full of himself." Lily folded her arms, shaking her head at her friend.

"Now, calm down. Let's just have some dinner, alright?", Catherine sighed, getting up from Zoe's bed. "Good idea", Abby muttered and put her quill aside. Lily walked past Zoe without looking at her. She knew she was being ridiculously quick-tempered but she was very sensitive when it came to James Potter.

Zoe caught up with her. "There's no point in ignoring me, Lily. I'll just ignore the fact that you're ignoring me", she said with a shrug. Lily gave her an annoyed look. "I know you secretly adore your little best pally", Zoe grinned. "Firstly you are not my best pally and secondly I don't adore you." Lily sighed deeply. "But I forgive you for being such a silly goose."

Zoe offered a bemused smile. "I know I am your best pally, Lily. We've known each other for years, even before Hogwarts", she pointed out to her. "No we don't." Lily furrowed her brow. "We met each other at King's Cross." Zoe rolled her dark eyes. "And King's Cross is obviously not Hogwarts, is it?"

Lily shook her head with a grin, ruffling her friend's short, black hair.

The girls reached the Great Hall only a short while later, Lily spotting James right away and seating herself as far away as possible from him.

"Come on, Lily. You don't have to go that far away from him", Georgia sighed, seating herself next to Abby and reaching for the plate with the meat. "How would you know?", Lily snapped and poured herself some iced pumpkin juice.

After she had helped herself to some carrots and beans, she began to eat without joining in the conversation the others were having. She could hear James's voice over the clatter of forks and buzz of laughter. He was talking about their Head meeting.

Lily shook her head with a snort. He would never change, of course he had to tell his mates all about his great comment that had made her laugh. Narrowing her eyes slightly, she thought of the first time he had asked her out. It had been back in their fifth year and she hadn't been able to believe her ears at first. The memory still made her feel angry.

Lily was walking through the deserted corridors towards the Gryffindor common room. The meeting with her Rambling Association hadn't been all to entertaining today. But she had enjoyed herself with Emily a bit, strangely Emily always made her smile even though she talked about Quidditch most of the time.

It was simply what Emily loved most about being a witch. Lily had never been able to feel the full excitement of a Quidditch match but she knew what it meant to her friends and always pretended to love the tense atmosphere before the match just as much.

It had been quite hard at first to be happy for Zoe when she had finally managed to get onto the team. Lily secretly thought that she hadn't only tried out because she liked Quidditch. No, Lily thought that James Potter was probably why Zoe had tried out as Chaser.

Personally she couldn't understand why anybody would want to play on a team with James Potter but Zoe had always been a bit strange. "Speaking of Zoe", Lily muttered to herself. "Where are the others?" She shrugged and walked a bit faster.

Just before she was able to enter the Gryffindor common room, the Marauders bent around a corner, all four of them grinning excitedly. "Do it, James", Sirius whispered, giving James a vigorous push in Lily's direction.

Lily furrowed her brow at the awkward look on James Potter's face. He licked his lips nervously and took one last glance at his three mates. "Go on then", Peter Pettigrew said, rolling his watery blue eyes.

"Hi", James greeted Lily with a grin. "What do you want?", Lily asked him with a deep sigh. "I want you to go out with me." James shrugged and quickly suppressed a laugh. Lily narrowed her eyes angrily. She resisted the temptation to raise her wand. "How DARE you ask me out as a prank?", she shouted at him, oblivious to the spittle flying from her mouth.

James backed away, a bemused grin appearing on his face. "Come on, Evans. I know you'd secretly love to." Lily was trembling with rage. "I would rather go out with one of Snape's bogeys", she said, managing to keep her voice quite calm and steady despite the white-hot anger bubbling inside her.

"Better luck next time", Sirius laughed with a shrug and James joined in, their laughter ringing unpleasantly in Lily's ears.

Lily glanced down the table at James who was chatting with a curly-haired fourth-year and his mates. He had tried to get her to go out with him every week of their fifth year after that particular incident that stuck out vividly in Lily's mind. In their sixth year he had then only tried every month.

This year had been unbelievingly peaceful so far, he hadn't asked her out at all, probably because he saw her at their Head meetings every second week anyway. Lily wondered what their relationship would be if she had said yes back then and what she wanted it to be.

She didn't like him and yet she was trying to figure out about what he was talking with the curly-haired fourth-year. Looking down at the vegetables on her plate, she continued eating. One word could have changed so much. One simple "yes" and she would probably be sitting next to him.

But she didn't want to sit next to him and that was why she had kept saying no to him for the past two years






Lily was too tired to look where she was going as she made her way up to the Gryffindor common room after dinner. She only noticed that something was going on in the Entrance Hall when she bumped into Catherine who had been walking in front of her.

"What's the matter?", she asked her friend with a troubled frown. Someone was shouting at the top of her voice, evidently furious. "HOW DARE YOU START A FIGHT LIKE THAT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ENTRANCE HALL!", she heard the very same voice continue shouting.

"That's Professor McGonagall", Abby whispered excitedly, trying to see something over the top of the many heads in front of them. Lily knew what had happened right away, she didn't even have to think, she could sense who had caused trouble.
"James", she whispered softly. "What?" Catherine turned around, her long hair hitting Zoe's face. "James. She's telling James off. Well, probably also the other Marauders", Lily said with a shrug. "How do you know? You're not taller than me, how come you can see something?", Georgia moaned.

"Who else causes trouble around here?", Lily said, rolling her eyes. "You're right, it has to be Potter and his gang." Abby grinned. "What do you think they've done?", Zoe asked curiously. Lily shrugged. "Hopefully something that will get them expelled."

"RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES!", McGonagall was screaming. "YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO MY HOUSE!"

"McGonagall is definitely worse than a Howler, what do you think?", Zoe whispered.

Lily nodded silently. She could hear McGonagall's black boots on the polished floor of the Entrance Hall. Where was she going? To see the Headmaster or was she just taking whoever had caused the havoc to her office? And what had they done?

As soon as McGonagall had marched the Marauders away, the crowd started to talk excitedly. Lily didn't feel like staying any longer and elbowed her way through the mass of chatting students.

"That's absolutely not funny", Lily scowled. McGonagall would almost definitely take more than a hundred points off Gryffindor. And the year had only just begun! "Of course", Lily continued muttering to herself. "It's always James and his gang who think they have to show off and make fun of less popular students. How could Dumbledore make him Head Boy? How for darn Merlin's sake?"

"Are you alright, Lily?"

Lily felt Emily's tight grip on her arm and frowned. "Of course I am, I'm just a bit tired, I had an awfully long day", she explained patiently, waiting for Emily to let her go. "You look a bit peaky", Emily told her worriedly. "I know, that's normal for me. I'm always pale when I'm exhausted. See you."

Lily brushed Emily's hand off her arm and hurried up the flight of marble stairs.





Lily tried to fall asleep that night but it was impossible. She was drenched in her own, hot sweat and strange thoughts kept creeping into her mind. Abby was snoring loudly next to her, one foot dangling out of bed. Lily rolled over onto her back and stared into the darkness.

There were still so many things she had to get done. The whole Hallowe'en business with James and the Potions project Slughorn had told her to supervise. She wasn't sure if she was going to be able to get everything done in time. What if she failed to please Slughorn? And what if the conjuring of the bats with James would turn out to be a total disaster?

Surely everyone would blame her since she was the responsible, sensible one. "You just have to calm down and work extra hard", Lily muttered to herself, tossing and turning in bed. She made a short list of all the things she had to get done or supervise, also not forgetting about the homework she still had to complete.

McGonagall wanted a three foot long essay and also Kettleburn had set a deadline for her essay on Centaurs. I still have to interview one of the Centaurs in the Forbidden Forest, Lily reminded herself.

Lily clenched her jaw as Catherine grunted loudly. "If you start snoring, too, I'll hit you", she whispered. Rolling over onto her back, she tried to empty her mind and think of nothing but cool darkness and her cosy blanket.

Lily glanced out of the window with a deep sigh. She hated not being able to sleep, it made her angry and upset, especially when she was exhausted. Adjusting her pillow, she closed her eyes again.

Twenty minutes later her own snoring was booming in the dormitory.


---

© Liza,
January 2007 (edited for flaws)

What happened that made James get told off like that?? I love the confused Lily, she's starting to have mixed up feelings for James, her wondering what would've happened if she had said yes when he asked her out was really amusing for me, she's starting to fall for him... and she was really harsh on him poor James, although I must say I felt James a little out of character in his response to Lily blowing him off.

I'm so sorry I haven't replied sooner, Liza! So sorry! I've gotten behind all the stuff I like to do...

Your story is getting so intriguing! I really love your characters. I especially enjoy Zoe, haha! And this part was hilarious:



That is so like McGonagall! LOL!

Your writing flows very well, and I enjoy how you write the everyday, ordinary life at Hogwarts. You blend everything so nicely - it's really great to read that. A lot of the writers try to force the readers to think of Hogwarts in a different way than it is (like more as a high school drama or something) but you portray it as it is, and I really like that.

The ending was spiffy - nice and simple.

Can't wait to read more!!

are you going to write any more of the story

Isabel: What did James do? You'll find out in this installment. Oh yes, Lily is starting to have mixed feelings. Sometimes it's very hard to admit that you like someone when you feel that you shouldn't be. But it's not that she is in love with him, her feelings are a lot more complex, somewhere between hatred and compassion. She feels sorry for him, thinks he is a pretty sad case and needs help but she can't sympathize with him when he treats others so nastily and the one thing she hates about him is his arrogance or at least the arrogance of the fifth- and sixth-year James. I don't understand why you think James was out of character though. This was the fifth year James, he has changed a lot, has grown up. Back then he didn't actually love Lily, she was the only girl he couldn't have and naturally that made him want her even more. Only eventually did he realise that he wanted her because he had feelings for her.

Liliana: It's so great that you're enjoying my fic, that helps me to continue writing even when I think I could be doing more or better. It's also nice to hear that you like the way I describe and see Hogwarts. Since I've been to England and an English school I can say that it's nothing like an American High School so I try not to make Hogwarts look like one either because it definitely isn't. LOL, I also like Zoe. She's a lot like one of my friend's which is why she's easy to write for me. And McGonagall has always been one of my favourite teachers at Hogwarts so I always try to include her a bit in my fanfictions. Anyway, glad you liked it.

LilyEvans: Yep, sure I'm continuing my work. Sorry you had to wait for so long.


But now enjoy the next chapter!





"Barking mad, the old hag!", Sirius said, shaking his head furiously.

"Keep your voice down!", Remus hissed, casting a worried glance at the portrait of a warlock that had scowled at them.

James sighed. He was feeling sick. Sick with anger and disappointment. Sick with remorse and guilt. And sick with fear. He was Head Boy. He was a disgrace to the house of Godric Gryffindor. McGonagall's voice was still ringing unpleasantly in his ears.

"Sit down, Potter." Minerva McGonagall's lips were pursed.

James was anxious, nervous, scared. He was dreading his expulsion like he had never dreaded anything before. How could he explain this mess to Lily?

"Potter, look at me", McGonagall demanded harshly.

James met her piercing gaze and gulped. She looked like some oversize eagle, just waiting to sink her claws into his flesh.

"What you did is a dreadful mark of your immaturity. Professor Dumbledore is furious with you. He put his faith in you, Potter, and trusted you, thought you wouldn't let him down. I told him you weren't ready for being Head Boy. He was reluctant to believe me and now -" A sad smile crossed McGonagall's face and James felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

McGonagall lowered her voice to a barely audible whisper. "Professors Slughorn and Flitwick wanted me to expell you but I don't like that option."

James felt a surge of gratitude towards his Transfiguration teacher. She wasn't as tough and cold-hearted as she always appeared to be. He attempted a thankful smile but it immediately turned into a frown. Professor Dumbledore had strode into McGonagall's office.

"Mr Potter, may I have a word with you?", he asked politely as if he were talking to some kind of big shot from the Ministry of Magic and not to James Potter, some mischief maker at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

James shrugged, unsure how to respond. "Sure."

"Wonderful, would you mind following me up to my office?", Dumbledore asked, casting an apologetic glance at McGonagall. "Though I do appreciate the simplicity of your office, Minerva, I prefer the peace and quiet of mine."

McGonagall eyed James sternly. "We shall continue our conversation tomorrow."

James nodded and got to his feet. The castle seemed oddly deserted as the Headmaster led him to the stone gargoyle guarding his office.

"Candypop", Dumbledore said and waited until the gargoyle had revealed a spiral staircase. James wondered what a Candypop was but didn't trust himself to ask the Headmaster. Instead he let the staircase move him upwards towards the wooden door of Dumbledore's office.

James gave Fawkes, Dumbledore's magnificent phoenix, a smile. The beautiful bird was sitting on a golden perch, staring out of the window into the grounds.

"He's a bit depressed lately", Dumbledore sighed into the silence, touching the animal's wings gently.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Dumbledore turned his back on Fawkes and told James to take a seat. Then he too sat down and inclined his head towards a bowl full of what seemed to be melted marshmallows, Muggle sweets James had been offered at Peter's house once.

"Help yourself to some Candypops", Dumbledore smiled, taking one himself.

James didn't want to be impolite but his insides were still squirming with fear and he didn't feel like upsetting his stomach any more than McGonagall's tantrum already had.

"No, thank you", he rejected.

"Well, you're probably interested in why you're here, up in the Headmaster's office." Dumbledore surveyed James over the top of his glasses.

"A bit, yes." James shrugged.

"I wanted to warn you personally. Should you ever again have the audacity to attack a student in front of a teacher or even behind the back of a teacher, I will expell you from this school. Furthermore you will never again taunt or ridicule Mr Snape by any means. Have I made myself clear?"

James tried to get rid of the funny taste in his mouth by swallowing hard but it was impossible. He felt vulnerable as he sat there in front of the Headmaster, not knowing what to do or say.

"Yes, sir." Sweat was glistening on James's forehead.

"Wonderful." Dumbledore's mouth twitched into a pleasant smile. "Shall I escort you to your common room?"

James quickly got up. "Um, no thank you. I'll be fine."

And with that he left the Headmaster's office.

"I don't get it." Sirius heaved a deep sigh. "Why are all the teachers so protective of Snivellus? I mean, surely they don't like him." He shuddered.

"I think McGonagall is right", Remus muttered. "We shouldn't be wasting all that time on taking the mickey out of him. We should be concentrating on our homework and our classes. This is NEWT year."

"Oh, put a cork in it", Peter moaned.

James shook his head angrily. "You're so thick. Both of you." He shot Sirius and Peter an annoyed glance that made them furrow their brow confusedly.

"What's up with you all of a sudden?", Sirius asked.

"For Merlin's sake, I'm Head Boy! Pranks and mischief making, that's not what I'm supposed to be focusing on. I have duties and a lot of responsibility, I can't just throw cautions to the wind and play a silly little trick on Snape." James bit his lip desperately. "Dumbledore and McGonagall both think I'm too immature to be Head Boy but I have to prove them wrong. For Lily's sake."

"Could you – just for two seconds – stop thinking about that stupid chick and try to listen to something we tell you, James? Your mates, the people that have been guiding you since your very first day at this school?" Sirius ran a hand through his short, black hair and gave James a vigorous push.

"Wake up, Prongs! She doesn't want you. She doesn't even like you. So why don't you just try to move on, give her some space, let her breathe? And live your life."

James clenched his jaw. There was so much truth in Sirius's words, why was he so mad? Because the truth was so bitter and painful. Because it made him want to punch something or someone. Because it had brought little flames of rage to life, somewhere deep inside.

"Fine." James tried to take a deep breath. "Fine."



Quidditch tryouts. The smell of sweat, leather and desperation tickled James's nose as he entered the changing rooms. Otis Blinstub was already pulling on his red sweater. He gave James a nod and left for the pitch, broom in one hand, Beater in the other.

James got changed and pinned his Captain's badge onto his robes. It sparkled in the sunlight that was coming in through the open window. The buzz of laughter coming from the stands made James smile. Maybe Lily was one of the spectators, keeping her fingers crossed for Zoe.

As James walked onto the Quidditch pitch he felt the glowing eyes of at least thirty girls rest upon him but he still felt hopeless because he knew that Lily's weren't among them. With a sigh, he got onto his broom and kicked off.

Suddenly he saw a group of students dressed in yellow make their way onto the pitch. The person walking at the front was a girl with long, black hair and an air of impatience. James squinted down at her and recognized Emily Sanderson, overconfident as always.

He soared towards the Hufflepuff Quidditch team and skidded to a halt in front of their captain. Hovering in mid-air, James gave Emily a bemused look.

"Though I do like being in your company, I think I'd rather hold the Quidditch tryouts without you", he said, grinning.

"In case you haven't noticed, the Hufflepuff Quidditch tryouts are being held today." Emily folded her arms triumphantly.

"Um, no." James tossed his head back and began to laugh. "I told McGonagall that I was planning on holding my tryouts today and she said I could so your lot ought to leave before I have to make them leave."

Emily resisted the urge to grin. "Are you threatening me?"

"Maybe." James tore his eyes away from Emily and was relieved to see that at least twenty Gryffindors had lined up behind him, giving the Hufflepuffs daring glances.

"Well, you see, I told my Head of House that I would be holding tryouts today long before you told yours so I guess you ought to leave with your bunch of - scary followers." Emily cackled gleefully.

"Look, Sanderson. I don't care how special you think you are but you can't just barge in here and –"

Emily silenced James with a rather rude hand gesture. "Well, I'm going to hold my tryouts so you can either leave or stay and watch."

"I'm going to report you." James wagged a warning finger at her but she merely laughed and strode past him.

James got off his broom and left the Quidditch pitch, foaming with rage. His hand was still twitching towards his wand but he knew that he was just going to get into trouble if he attacked Emily. First and foremost because the teachers were already keeping an eye on him but also because he was Head Boy and Emily a girl.

"Why do girls always expect special treatment? And why do they always get it?", James hissed viciously, kicking open the door to the changing rooms.

He ripped his Captain's badge off his Gryffindor robes and glowered at it. He was already looking forward to their first game against Hufflepuff where he would beat Emily's team.

"Prongs? Are you alright?" Remus had entered the changing rooms, his brow furrowed worriedly.

"I'm fine." James wiped the sweat off his forehead and gritted his teeth. He was trying to control his temper but it was almost impossible.

"Don't worry about Emily, she can't help it", Remus consoled him compassionately, sitting down next to him.

"I'm not worrying about anything, particularly not her." James took a deep breath. Suddenly a very unpleasant thought crept into his mind. "Do you know if Lily was watching?"

"For Merlin's sake, James!" Remus shook his head in frustration. "Just quit thinking about her, OK? Could you do me that favour?"

James got up angrily. "Why can't you just leave me alone?" His voice was full of bitterness and Remus instantly backed away.

"I've had enough of you", Remus said and without further ado he left James to slam his fist against the nearest locker.

As soon as he had calmed down a bit, James decided to go to the Great Lake. He would have looked for Sirius and Peter if he hadn't been sure that they were together with Remus. The warmth of the sunlight and the chirping of the birds magicked a smile onto his face and for the next half hour all was well and James was at peace with the world.

He was treading cool water with his feet, humming a tune and gazing at the sparkling lake. A group of second-year students was sitting at the bank not far away from him but they were whispering so James was able to enjoy the silence.

He let his thoughts wonder to that day in October he had asked Lily to go out with him. Again. It had been last year but James could still see her face quite clearly before his mind's eye. The disbelief that had been etched into her pretty features.

James was strolling down to the Quidditch stadium. It was quite chilly but he wasn't cold, in fact he was feeling warm with excitement. He already knew that Lily didn't want to go out with him, he had asked her last week and she had once again told him to bugger off and leave her alone for Merlin's sake. But that wouldn't stop him from trying over and over again.

A smile lit up his face as he saw her sitting in the stands, chatting with her friends. Her face was pink but she still looked absolutely stunning. James swallowed hard and made his way over to her, his whole body now quivering with expectation.

"Good morning, Lily." He managed to smile in a polite manner.

Lily didn't reply, she merely stared at him.

"Well, since the next Hogsmeade weekend is coming up, I wanted to know whether you are interested in going there together?", James asked hopefully.

Lily let out a humourless laugh. "No, I'm not interested."

"Oh, right." James bit his lip. "Do you want to go then, Zoe?"

Zoe gave James a look of utter bemusement but Lily had already gotten to her feet. She looked absolutely livid.

"How dare you?", she screeched at the top of her voice, attracting the attention of at least thirty other students. "You are the most tactless and arrogant person –"

She tried to catch her breath and go on but she was so furious that she didn't manage.

James shrugged. "I'm sorry."

"You will be if you don't get a move on!", Lily scowled.

James sighed. He had made so many mistakes concerning Lily Evans. And sometimes he wondered whether she was masking her true feelings with hatred. Maybe she liked him. Secretly. And just didn't trust herself to admit that he had stolen his way into her heart, unnoticed and without a sound. James remembered Remus's words. Wishful thinking. Being hopeful.

What if it's true though?, he thought. Maybe I should let her know that I forgive her for all the names she's called me over the past few years. Maybe I should let her know that I love her unconditionally. That she can always count on me and doesn't have to feel ashamed for liking me.

"What are you doing here?"

James didn't bother to answer but let Sirius drop down beside him.

"You alright?", Sirius asked his best mate, looking at him out of the corner of his eyes.

"More or less." James shrugged. He didn't even know how or what he felt anymore. Who to be, what to feel, how to act, where to go. "Are you in love, Padfoot?"

Sirius chuckled. "Love is something for guys like you, Prongs. Guys that pretend to be cool and stone-cold but are actually sensitive and thoughtful."

"You think I'm sensitive and thoughtful?" James arched his eyebrows in surprise.

"I'm not sure. Maybe."

"Are you going out with Rachel?", James asked, just to change the topic.

"No. I've had enough of girls." Sirius grinned to himself.

"But don't you want to fall in love?"

"Merlin, James! You're becoming more and more like Remus." Sirius laughed. "Love makes things complicated, it dements you."

James swallowed hard. Secretly he thought Sirius was right.




"Good morning, James."

James looked right through Emily and kept on walking. She had tied her hair back so that it swished from left to right like a pendulum, trying to meddle with his thoughts and draw his attention away from Lily.

"Oh, by the way, you forgot to report me to Professor McGonagall." Emily's hazel eyes were twinkling mischievously.

Tempting though it was, James didn't start an argument with her but strode into the Great Hall for breakfast instead. The other Marauders were already seated at the Gryffindor House Table, Sirius sipping at a steaming cup of coffee, Remus reading the Daily Prophet and Peter helping himself to scrambled eggs.

"Morning", James mumbled, taking a seat and searching for Lily's face in the crowded hall.

She was sitting between Catherine and Abby, pouring herself some tea. The steam was making her hair go a bit curly but it only added to her appearance. James smiled. He loved breakfast time because it meant that he would be able to gaze at Lily undisturbed for at least half an hour. His mates already knew that he didn't want to join in on their conversations and let him have his peace and quiet.

Suddenly Peter poked him.

"What?", James asked irritably.

"You still owe Snape an apology." His round face cracked into a wicked grin.

"Merlin, I forgot all about that crap!", James sighed.

He pushed his chair back and quickly walked over to Severus Snape who was bent over a library book, perusing it with his hooked nose almost touching the old yellow pages.

"Severus?" Even James himself was surprised by the softness of his voice.

Severus blinked at James, astonished. He snapped the book shut hurriedly and attempted to run away. But James had grabbed him by the arm and held him back.

"I'm not here to hurt you", James told him, shocked by the fear swimming in his eyes.

Severus furrowed his brow confusedly. "Why are you here then?"

"I wanted to apologise for what I did to you - you know, in the Entrance Hall." James let go off him and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm very sorry."

Severus shrugged nervously. "Alright."

"OK, I'll leave you to your book then." James forced a smile.

As he sat down next to Peter again, he felt relieved and content. He had done the right thing. And it had been even easier than he had expected. Maybe he wasn't such a sad case after all.

"Greasy-haired wimp", Sirius spat.

James pretended not to have heard his comment. It made him angry and upset to know that his best mate wasn't about to change his idiotic behaviour. Not about to think along the same lines as him. They had been mates since their very first day at Hogwarts, had shared experiences and so much more and yet Sirius didn't seem to understand one thing about compassion and sensibility.

James met Lily's gaze and with a surge of delight he noticed that she was smiling.

"Thank you", she mouthed.

James raised his eyebrows, about to ask what she was thanking him for but she had already averted her eyes.

James managed to get to Charms earlier than usual in the hope of having a quick conversation with Lily. Luckily he hadn't been mistaken; Lily was always the first to be waiting in front of the classroom.

"Hey." James tried to make his sudden appearance seem casual. As though he had just been passing by earlier than usual. As though he had just spotted her.

"Hi." Lily didn't look up from the book she was reading.

"What are you reading?" It was a feeble attempt at a normal conversation but James felt that he had to say something, anything.

"The Tales of Beedle the Bard", Lily replied with an air of impatience.

"What?" James let out a laugh. "That's a children's book!"

"Well in case you don't remember, I am Muggle-born. Better known as a Mudblood in your world, Potter", Lily said coldly, tossing the book into her bag.

"Oh, no, no!" James tried hard not to sound desperate. "I didn't mean –" He sighed. "I'm sorry, sometimes I talk before I think."

"Never mind." Lily shrugged in resignation. Clearly she didn't feel like arguing with him today.

"Um, today in the Great Hall –", James began but Lily cut across him.

"For Merlin's sake, why do you always misinterpret my gestures!?", Lily cried. "Just because I gave you a smile doesn't mean that we're friends or anything of the sort."

"OK, calm down", James said. "But you thanked me. I have the right to know why."

Lily heaved a deep sigh. "I don't know why exactly. Probably because you did something normal for a change. You know, you apologised to someone."

James grinned broadly. "People always deserve second chances."

"Some people do, yes." All of a sudden Lily seemed rather thoughtful but James didn't trust himself to ask what was on her mind.

"People like me?" James sounded hopeful.

"People like you deserve a kick in the butt", Lily replied but she was smiling.

"Sometimes." James shrugged. "I'm not that bad, you know. Maybe - if we just spent some more time together -"

Lily shook her head sadly. "Please don't ask me out again, James."

James nodded, not prepared to let her tear her gaze away again. This was the first normal conversation they had had in ages. James felt elated, wanted to embrace the whole world.

"Lily! For Merlin's sake, I need to copy your homework! Flitwick is going to kill me!" Abby Gordon had destroyed their magical moment, had made Lily look away and forget that she should have been gazing at James, seeing the love and affection in his warm, brown eyes.

"Oh, hello James", Abby said absent-mindedly, taking out a piece of parchment, ink and a quill.

"Morning." James watched her copy Lily's homework, wondering if he would ever get the chance to speak to Lily like that again.

This was a very sweet chapter. You write the Marauders quite well, particularly James. You show a softer side of him that he rarely lets others see. It seeems like James is growing up and seeing the effects of his actions! It's true - he needs to pay attention to his responsibilities.

Your dialogue - yet again - is fantastic. The story flows very smoothly, and you don't waste details or words but know how to shape the Hogwarts world into the one from our imaginations.

I really liked the scene between Snape and James...it bordered on both of their likeminded dislike, but also at a kind of mutual respect.

I wonder if Lily's approval is enough of a starting point for a friendship with James? I hope so.

Great chapter! Can't wait to read more.