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Harry Potter and the Quest of Jess


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#1
Can

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Quartet Productions Presents

Harry Potter and the Quest of Jess
A Snitch Parody on all of us.

By Can, Coin Xavier, Harrysbabe and Jess.


Prologue: A few months ago in a heated Gameroom session between Colin and Jess, Jess was posting incredibly fast which led Colin to call her "Queen of the Snitch" needless to say it went to her head and she took the role with extreme gusto. The next few days a revolution happened in which several people got top posts in her "Queendom" . Wolf was made King, Eilish was made successor to her throne, Harrysbabe was made a Princess, Stuart was made Duke and Can was made his Duchess. Colin was stuck with the lowly position of "Trumpet Boy" which was specially created for him.

Chapter One: An even stranger day

Written by Colin Xavier, Can, Jess and Harrysbabe


Queen Jess: And now, you Stuart will be a Duke and Can you shall be his Duchess.

Stuart: *In tears* Wow! I had no idea! You guys. *Bows* I would like to thank................. *Goes on forever* (Authors note: read his one year anniversary thread in Off topic)

Can: *Mortified* I'm his WHAT?!

Queen Jess: Duchess, Dahling.

Can: *Looks at Stuart who is in his As"

Stuart: I'd like to thank Allie, Amamarre, Andi, Angel, Ash .....................

Can: What did I do to deserve this? *Steps away from Stuart*

Queen Jess: Enough, I am the Queen. I have spoken.

Colin: We need to talk about that.

Queen Jess: What, Trumpet boy?

Colin: *Pulls out hair* that! I make you Queen and this is my thanks?

Queen Jess: Tsk tsk, Colin. Calm down. It's not as if I removed the opinion games.

Colin: I'm over that now, but why am I Trumpet boy?

Queen Jess: Because Dahling, you play the best trumpet in the land. And I gave that golden trumpet to you and I want to see it used.

Colin: Fine *Ruefully goes to the side and starts playing the Trumpet*

Queen Jess: Such beautiful music.

Harrysbabe: When do I enter the story?

Queen Jess: Right now, Dahling.

Stuart: Will you stop saying saying Dahling! It's distracting and now I've lost count *Starts again from B*

Can: He has interrupted you, My Queen. Off with his head I say!

Stuart: Again? What is it with you and my lovely head *Caresses head*

Queen Jess: You two, deal with yourselves. *To Harrysbabe* What do you need?

Harrysbabe: I need Harry.

Queen Jess: You don't need him you want him.

Harrysbabe: Difference?

Queen Jess: A lot of difference, I want Sirius but you don't see me going after him obsessively.

Harrysbabe: He's dead!

Queen Jess: *Ponders* yes, maybe that has something to do with it.

Harrysbabe: My Harry is alive! Oh Harry................

Queen Jess: *Looks to one her servants* You there *Looks at Colin*

Colin: *Looks around* Me?

Queen Jess: Yes is there some other entertainment tonight?

Colin: Well, there is a Weird Guy outside who has been waiting months to see you.

Queen Jess: Well, I've got time. Send him in.

Colin: *Goes and gets Weird Guy*

Weird Guy: *Comes and Bows* Your Majesty

Queen Jess: Yeah yeah, heard it before. Cut the crap and get to the point.

Weird Guy: Of course, your Majesty. I am here to help you.

Queen Jess: I find that hard to believe but continue, peasant.

Weird Guy: I can bring back Sirius.

Queen Jess: WHAT?

Weird Guy: I can bring him back.

Queen Jess: Do it now!

Weird Guy: I can't do it now, I need a few special items.

Queen Jess: What items?

Weird Guy: Four special and powerful orbs which are hidden in the four different houses of Hogwarts. *Points to Jess* You and your pals will need to get them.

Queen Jess: How will we get inside Hogwarts?

Harrysbabe: It's impossible, believe me I've tried.

Weird Guy: It's not impossible. Today is the first of September. Simply go to Hogwarts posing as students.

Queen Jess: That's a great idea. Okay, that will be me, Can, Harrysbabe and Wolf.

Harrysbabe: Wolf isn't here.

Queen Jess: Darn it! He's never here anymore. *Looks around* Okay I guess it's you then Trumpet Boy.

Colin: *Stops playing* I'm thrilled *Plays again*

Queen Jess: *Looks at Weird Guy* But what is your interest in this?

Weird Guy: I ask but one thing.

Queen Jess: Which is?

Weird Guy: *Hopefully* I ask to be made your King

All: *Stares*

Weird Guy: No? Well then, I will settle for lots and lots of cash.

Queen Jess: Done! *Rises from Throne* I shall go and get ready. Everybody else coming along should do so as well. *Goes to private room*

Weird Guy: I shall wait here to transport you all to Hogwarts. *Waits*

Harrysbabe: I'm going to see Harry! *Leaves to get ready*

Colin: *Stops playing* I'm going too. *Leaves*

Stuart: *After finishing his Zs* Oh come here my Duchess, you sweet chica. *puts arm around Can*

Can: Yech! Get your slimy paws of me *Pushes Stuart away and storms towards her quarters*

Can: *Goes into quarters, fuming at Jess and Stuart* Sweet chica, sweet chica, I've had it! *Ground rumbles* God! Such a cliché *A mysterious figure appears in the middle of the room*

Can: Who are you?

Mysterious figure: I am from a galaxy far, far, away. You have caused a disturbance in the force and I have felt it.

Can: So what happens now?

Mysterious figure: I have come to see what you are and how powerful you are.

Can: And what do you see now?

Mysterious figure: I see one teaming with the force. But it is raw and untapped, and it needs to be controlled, to protect against the dark side.

Can: I wish to learn

Mysterious figure: Very well then, meditate with me *Can and Mysterious figure meditate*

Can: I feel more powerful

Mysterious figure: Yes you do, I sense it too. You must use this sparingly and wisely. Otherwise you will fall to the dark side.

Can: I have already fallen, prepare to die! *Uses force lightning on mysterious figure but it goes past him ineffectively*

Mysterious figure: Insolent brat! You cannot hope to touch me, I'm only an image. And I see now it was a mistake to open you to the force. Therefore now I shall punish you by....... *Ponders* Well, it appears I cannot do anything to you, oh my! What a mistake! Please do not tell the Jedi Council, I wish to keep my post as Jedi Master.

Can: Okay fine, we got a deal. Just leave me alone forever.

Mysterious Figure: *Goes poof*

Can: And now, I have the power to overthrow Queen Jess *Evil dark lordish laugh*

Colin: *Enters room* Who's laughing?

Can: Colin! A great thing has happened, I have embraced my destiny of being Dark Lord of the Snitch!

Colin: *Ponders* Does that mean we aren't going to Hogwarts?

Can: "Ponders as well* I always wanted to go there.

Colin: Dark Lord of the Snitch? Hey you can go to Slytherin, get some followers.

Can: Yes that's true. A Dark Lord needs her minions.

Colin: Will you help get the Orbs for Sirius?

Can: Yeah, I guess so. Always had a weak spot for him. But my eventual plan is overthrowing Queen Jess.

Colin: Overthrowing Jess?

Can: Yeah, got a problem with that?

Colin: Will I still be Trumpet Boy?

Can: No, you shall be my apprentice.

Colin: Okay then, no problems.


Can, Colin, Jess and Harrysbabe get ready and reenter the Throne room where Weird Guy does some Weird Spell and the four of them find themselves by the gates of Hogwarts. Jess leads the way to Hogwarts oak front doors. She opens them and walks inside.


Queen Jess: *To the room at large* I've got questions!

The lights go out. There is an eerie atmosphere about the place and out of nowhere a black kid appears in the middle of the room.

He starts dancing, grand band music starts blaring. Dancing Girls by the droves appear beside him and the black kid starts singing a tune

RBGK: Come to me, all you out there come to me! Bring forth your questions and come to me! I shall answer them alllllllllllll. Come to me. Yes, you all there come to me For I............ am...... *Points to Dancing girls*

Dancing Girls: RBGK!

RBGK: *Goes down on one knee and spreads his arms wide* That's me!

Jess: *Walks right up to RBGK* There are four different orbs in the four houses which I need. How do we get them?

RBGK: *Rising music, spotlight on him and speaks in tune* I don't know!!! *Jumps up, Dancing girls and music disappear* YES! The curse of Alphonso is broken! I am free! *Runs out Hogwarts*

Jess: *sigh with bewilderment* What was that all about?

Harrysbabe: Well its obvious isn't it?

All: *nods of agreement*

Jess: Err... New rule, you must all be bewildered by what just happened

All: *Fake actions of bewilderment* (Can does not join in)

Jess: And anyway, those flouncy plouncy girls weren't even pretty *Jealous* Were they?

Harrysbabe: (not wanted to risk position of Princess) Oh no your Majesty

The four of them enter the Great Hall, led by Jess, which is packed with students, as the Sorting ceremony is taking place. Queen Jess walks up to the middle of the hall vaingloriously, sits on the stool and places the Sorting hat on her head

All: *Stares*

McGonagall: *Looks at Jess* Ooookay .......

Sorting Hat: Oh my, who do we have here? I see pride, swelled ego, an unusual fetish for trumpet music........

Queen Jess: Wait a minute! I need you to put me and my dependents into the four houses of Hogwarts

Sorting Hat: What? That is not the way I work

Queen Hat: Do as I tell you

Sorting Hat: Why? Who are you Queen? *Sarcastic*

Queen Jess: You are smarter then I give you credit for

Sorting Hat: I'm not fulfilling your demands

Queen Jess: Very well, but you must know that I know a Weird Guy that can make you oblivion forever

Sorting Hat: Are you threatening me?

Queen Jess: You catch on fast!

Sorting Hat: *Ponders* Fine! I will reconsider, as long as you keep that Weird Guy away from me

Queen Jess: It's a deal

Sorting Hat: Just to treat you a lesson, I'm putting you in HUFFLEPUFF!! *Screams out loud*

Queen Jess: Whatever Dahling! As long as I get my Sirius back

Colin, Can and Harrysbabe get sorted into Ravenclaw, Slytherin and Gryffindor respectively. Afterward, the four of them depart into their respective common rooms, only to retreat when their mission is completed.

*****************************

Authors notes:

Can: No offense meant Stuart, we all love you *huggles*

Jess: Sorry about our crazy insane wacko idea with you in it *pets Duke* I'm sure you won't mind *unsure* :D Hope you like it with you and er *cough* Can lol. I'm sure your proud to be in it !!! I'll just keep on believing that :wub:

Harrysbabe: Sorry Stu no offense meant, we all love you*huggles*

Colin Xavier: No offense meant to Stuart. We all love you, But me, in a manly way *Just read what I said* OH GOD! NO! Not in a manly way......... ??? I mean in a.......... Forget I said anything.


Shameless self promotion:

If you enjoyed this chapter, you will love the absolutely brilliant fanfics written by the fabulously talented members of the Snitch Quartet.

A Christmas Romance by Jess – It's Christmas time, Harry, Hermione and the Weasleys are staying at school. Harry and Ginny get closer in the holiday. What do the others think?

Harry Potter and the Spell of Alpha and Omega by Colin Xavier – Darkest HP fanfic on the Web. (PM Colin X if you find anything darker)

When in Love by Can – Original Romance fiction

Rising Dreams by Can – The Stuff that Buffy is made of. (Apologies to Lils)

#2
ClosetHPF

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This is a hilarious piece. I was laughing all the way to the "credits" aka "the author's notes". !!!

Well done, can, jess, harrysbabe & colin. (Is there any more?). :wub:

(now if I can get more people to read my works....hmm :D ). * strokes chin * !!!
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#3
Guest_Stuart_*

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Oh, you write me so well, dahlings. *caresses head* How did you know I was such a diva?

I hope your quest for Sirius' orbs goes well. God forbid you don't find his orbs.

#4
Colin Xavier

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Thanks, Stu :wub: Glad you like it and keep it up! (The diva)

Edited by Colin Xavier, 08 April 2005 - 11:41 PM.

My Fanfic
Harry Potter and the Spell of Alpha and Omega
Completed


Quartet Productions Present -Harry Potter and the Quest of Jess!
and....
The Continuing Adventures of Dark Lord Can - A Sequal to 'The Quest of Jess!'
Written by Colin Xavier, Can, Jess and Harrysbabe!


Harry Potter and the Saviour of the Universe Completed


#5
Wolf

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Hehehe... good start! I really enjoyed reading this. !!!

Oh and...

Queen Jess: That's a great idea. Okay, that will be me, Can, Harrysbabe and Wolf.

Harrysbabe: Wolf isn't here.

Queen Jess: Darn it! He's never here anymore. *Looks around* Okay I guess it's you then Trumpet Boy.


Waddayamean, I am not here anymore?!? *authors point to gamesroom* Oh... that... yeah... y'know.... work and all... heh!

As for being sorted in Hufflepuff... Check for Yannick... I am sure he can help you out. :lol:
.:My Fanfics:.
Completed: Discovery for a new student. and Six Years After
Planned: Chaos and Eternity (story skeleton being fleshed out)

.:Recommended Fics:.
Entropist and Lumia (aka: gmhpfan)
Fic World (repository of fics by Wolf, Entropist and Lumia)
Beginning: The Keeper of Swyn Llyfr by *Liliana*
Riddle and Secrets and Coming Full Circle by Lalaluna

#6
Jess

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Thanks for reading everybody *pokes Wolf* You're never there anymore *sighs* lol Glad you enjoyed it.
It's up to me to write the next chapter ;) !!!

:rolleyes:

you are my sweetest downfall. <3


#7
Scarlett

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Hehe fun stuff, i'll be waiting fot the next chapter now, get busy Jess! :rolleyes: !!!
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#8
Chloe

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Stu is so...cwazy? !!! Maybe you should include his cam-whoreness somewhere? That could get interesting... ;)

Lol, Queen Jess. :rolleyes: May I introduce you to the lady of speaking Dahling?

Can... :hmm: Never thought of you as one who would become a Dark Lady.

Colin, Trumpet Boy? Okaaaay.

PPMS!

Chloe o@

#9
Hollycat

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Excellent! And I love the fact that RBGK appeared in his true light. I have to say, I'm really coming round to the idea of RBGK (don't tell Tess though.....)

Looking forward to the next instalment.

#10
harrysbabe

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Glad you all like it :D
Now i have to finish my chapter....... ^_^
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Quartet Productions Present -Harry Potter And The Quest Of Jess!

#11
Can

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I'm glad you all like it! Gosh! I haven't even started on my chapter *Goes off to write*
<center>Quartet Productions Present -Harry Potter and the Quest of Jess!
and....
The Continuing Adventures of Dark Lord Can - A Sequal to 'The Quest of Jess!'
Written by Colin Xavier, Can, Jess and Harrysbabe!

#12
Jess

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My chapter is complete and ready for you all to so Can should be posting it soon! And yes, Stu cam-whoreness is included kind of! lol!

you are my sweetest downfall. <3


#13
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Chapter Two: A Mystery Solved

Written by: Jess


Hufflepuff Common Room

Jess is sitting by the fire, fuming.

Jess: * talking to self * Hufflepuff? Out of all the houses, that silly little head warmer put me in this house? *Fumes* I mean I know I said I didn't mind but, *shouts * HUFFLEPUFF? Why me?

All:*gasps of offence *

Jess: *embarrassed giggle* Oh-erm-don't mind me; no really, just get on with reading books and playing chess. *talks to self again* Oh, I wish I had Colin to calm me down with some trumpet music. *sigh *

Jess, red faced, sits by the fire filing her nails angrily. Hannah Abbot comes and sits beside her.

Hannah: *snobbishly* you ought to watch your manners; it won't do to behave like that.

Jess: And you ought to watch who you're speaking to. Do you know that I am Queen?

Hannah: *snortish laugh * Oh yes? Queen of what? * looks out the window* Oh look, I think I see a pig flying across the sky. I didn't know pigs could fly.

Jess: *offended and angry* It's funny you know, because I don't see any wings on your back.

Hannah *raises and eyebrow* You know, I think the sorting hat made a mistake, putting you in Hufflepuff.

Jess: Well, At least we agree on something eh?

Hannah: Yes, well I'm here because you are sharing a dorm with me; I'll show you the way.

Jess *rolls eyes* Oh I feel like the luckiest girl alive

Dormitory

Hannah: *bitterly* Well, here's where you'll sleep. *Slams door as she goes*


Jess: *sarcastically* such a nice little girl, with such a sweet temper. I want to go home where I'll be waited on hand and foot and everybody loves me. *coughs from royal subjects* I wonder how Stuart's doing with looking after my kingdom *shivers* Why did I let him look after my people *sighs* what was I thinking? I know, I'll use my magic mirror and talk to him.

Jess pulls out her mirror and taps it. Stuarts face appears in the mirror. Stuart is still caressing his head.

Jess: *sighs* Hey Stuart.

Stuart doesn't respond. He carries on dealing with his head.

Jess: Stuart-*shouts* STUART! Leave the head alone, it'll still be there when we've finished talking.

Stuart: *jumps* what? Oh, hey Jess! Sorry, I didn't see you there.

Jess: *rolls eyes*

Stuart: So what do you want then, you know you interrupted me in the middle of something very important.

Jess: Oh yeah? What's that?

Stuart: Photo Shoot! The crowd love me!

Jess: *coughs* Er- Yeah. Anyway, How's it going down in my kingdom dahling?

Stuart: Great! You know, I think I should take your place; your people love me! Anyway enough about here, everything's fine, how about you finding your orb?

Jess: Give me a chance; I've only just got here! Don't you worry, I'll find it and then Sirius will return! *melts*

Stuart: I don't think I want him to come back you know.

Jess: Yes, well that's you isn't it?

Stuart: Must dash dahling, mustn't keep the camera waiting *bright camera flash*

Jess: *rolls eyes again*

Stuart disappears from the mirror and Jess goes and sits on her bed. Just as she does so, Hannah comes in.

Hannah: I'm off to bed now, first day of school tommorow and I have *snobbishly* Prefect duties to carry out.

Jess: *not bothered* Suit yourself

Jess shuts the curtains of her four poster bed and sits on it. Hannah starts to snore.

Jess: *poking out of curtains* Hey, miss snortsalot! HANNAH WAKE UP!

Hannah: What do you want?

Jess: You were snoring.

Hannah: Don't be silly. I never snore.

Jess *lets out a laugh* Er.. Yes you do dahling.

Jess can hear snoring again, so she gives up. She also falls asleep.

At the doors of the Great Hall- the next morning

Harrysbabe, Colin and Can are huddled together, talking; they spot Jess and wave.

Jess: I'm fed up with Hufflepuff.

Can: That's not the point, how are we all doing with orb hunting?

All: *glance around the room for excuse*

Can: Okay, I admit it, I haven't done anything either.

Harrysbabe: And err-um- I've been spending time with a friend.

Jess: *coughHarrycough*

Colin: Well come on!

Harrysbabe: Let's all go looking, Oh yeah, Jess, how's Stuart doing with looking after home?

Jess: Don't ask. He's more interested in his body.

Days pass with Jess yawning and filing her nails through subjects she hates and finally the weekend comes. Jess is in her room. No one else is there.

Jess: bored-.bored-..BORED *yawns*

Jess looks around the room, trying to think of what to do, suddenly a cheeky streak falls upon her and she looks towards Hannah's desk. Among all the papers and junk is Hannah's personal diary. Jess jumps up from her bed and grabs the diary and opens it at the last writing.

Diary entry: Dear Diary,
It's definite. I love Ernie McMillan.
He asked me out today, and I jumped
at the chance. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!
I'm going out with him to Hogsmeade at
The weekend. I'm so exited. He's my
First boyfriend (I haven't told anyone
That)
Another thing happened today, I
Saw something shiny, glowing like an orb.


Jess: *gasps* This is it! I bet it says where the orb is!

Jess is about to read on but suddenly she hears footsteps coming towards the door. She stuffs the diary back on the desks and runs towards her bed. Hannah Abbott appears through the door.

Hannah: Oh hello!

Jess: *out of breath* You seem in a good mood!

Hannah: Yes well some of us have a social life. I'm going out!

Jess: *rolls eyes*

Hannah: Are you all right? You seem a bit flustered.

Jess: Fine, Fine, go on go and have a good time-*lets slip* with Ernie

Hannah *doubles back* How did you know?

Jess: Well gossip does er- get about in the- er- common room.

Hannah *sighs and slams door behind her as she goes*

Jess waits until she can't hear Hannah's footsteps anymore and then dashesback to grab Hannah's diary.

Jess: I'm surprised that door hasn't fallen off! The number of times she does that-Anyway, back to the story. This is the moment I've been waiting for, the key to get Sirius.

Diary entry: The orb was so shiny. I found it in
A secret passage in the common room.
I stumbled across it when I was reading
A book, when I put it back in the book
Case another book fell out and the book-
Case moved to one side. I could see
The orb shining in the darkness
So I went to the end of the passage
And saw it close up I tried to touch
It-



Jess didn't have to read anymore. She put the diary back and ran as fast as she could to the common room. She sighed when she saw that there were loads of bookcases. Which one would she start with? She desperately flung many books out of all the bookcases, not caring about the mess, only about Sirius.

Jess: *still rifling through books* Come on, COME ON! It has to be one of these! Why is this so difficult? I want it and I want it now! *one of the bookcases moves aside* AHAH! This is it!

Jess pears into the passageway. It's dark and dingy, but right at the bottom she sees something glowing. Jess can't wait any longer, she runs desperately towards the light.

Jess: Ewww- It's all slimy and horrible, my hair! MY PRECIOUS HAIR! It's covered in slime! It's ruined! Come on Jess, don't think about that, and think about the orb!

She reaches the bottom of the passage, and there is the orb. Jess smiles and reaches out and touches it. Her hands clasp it and she carries on smiling!

Jess: *runs around passage like a lunatic* I'VE GOT IT! YES! That weid guy was right! I don't believe it!

Jess walks back up the passage to find Prof. Sprout looking at the mess she has made with the books.

Prof Sprout: Jess! What has been going on here?

Jess: I promise you, the mess is worth it! Trust me!

Prof. Sprout: *doubtful look*

#14
ClosetHPF

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Another great chapter, Jess. :P .Jess being stuck in Hufflepuff and in the same dorm as Hannah. A clash of characters is sure to ensue. I didn't know Stuart's that vain. Who's doing the next chapter? I'll be waiting....patiently.
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#15
Selpharry

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i loved this...seriously i did...hmmm i never saw jess like that...people are not what they seem to be :P :P :D
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#16
Chloe

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Lol...Stu...apparently he found his soulmate. *snicker* :P

And Jess, I can't believe you! LOL! You're that desperate that you decided to pull books off shelves? I think Professor Sprout is right to disagree with you, she probably thought you were some insane clown or something! :D

Chloe :P

#17
Jess

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And Jess, I can't believe you! LOL! You're that desperate that you decided to pull books off shelves? I think Professor Sprout is right to disagree with you, she probably thought you were some insane clown or something! 


moi? Desperate? *runs around nervousley* :)

Sel: Ha! So you saw the other side to me :pinch: lol!

Well this FF all seems to be coming together! The next chapters to come written by the others will be on soon! I hope they didn't mind me saying that *pokes Colin, Can & Harrysbabe*

you are my sweetest downfall. <3


#18
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*stares in mirror*

Oh, what, sorry? Was I supposed to be reading something?

(Very good, Jess. :pinch:)

#19
Scarlett

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Yay another fun chapter! :pinch: Keep them coming! :) Oops was that too cheeky? hehe o@
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#20
Hollycat

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That was great Jess :D I liked you filing your nails through all the boring subjects. I suppose Prof Binns would never notice but I bet you didn't get away with it in Transfiguration :unsure:

Looking forward to the next chapter.........

#21
Jess

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Stuart: :unsure: Was that ment to be a complement? *sarcastic*

Hollycat: *still filing nails* Sorry what did you say? lol

I really appriciate everyone reading!

you are my sweetest downfall. <3


#22
Can

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Chapter Three: A dream come true

Written by Harrysbabe


Rated PG-!3 for innuendo!



Harrysbabe is standing in front of the portrait of The Fat Lady.

Harrysbabe: Hmm-.I wonder what the password could be?

She checks herself in a nearby mirror, flicking her long blonde hair over her shoulder and pouting and says to herself

Harrysbabe: Dahling you look sooo gorgeous*still pouting*

At that moment the portrait swings open and out comes Neville.

Harrysbabe: Hey Neville!!,I'm Harrysbabe,do you know where Harry is?

Neville: Err no!.But there is a note for you pinned to the noticeboard in the Common Room.

Harrysbabe: Oh thanks Neville--I owe you one!

Harrysbabe runs into the Common Room and reads the note "Meet me at the Quidditch Pitch" signed Harry xx.

Harrysbabe: OMG!!-..I now get to meet my Harry -oh I can't wait*squeals*.

Quickly Harrysbabe runs all the way to the Quidditch Pitch like a woman possessed.,pushing anyone who gets in her way to one side-..

She eventually arrives panting and gasping for breath when she sees Harry flying around the pitch trying to catch the Snitch (as usual!!).

Harrysbabe: Oh how I love to see him fly*looks dreamily at Harry*.

Harry lands next to her with the tiny Snitch fluttering in his hand.

Harry: This is for you *gives her the Snitch*.

Harrysbabe: Oh-..Harry thank-you *blushes*

Harry: So would you like a ride on my Firebolt?

Harrysbabe: Ooh Harry I thought you'd never ask*giggles*,but shouldn't we go somewhere a little more private?

Harry: I meant the broom Harrysbabe !!

Harrysbabe: Err yes-.of course*blushes*

Harry: Ok, just climb on behind me and put your arms around my waist.

Harrysbabe: Ok Harry, but don't go too fast!!

Harry kicks off from the ground and they shoot straight up to the blue sky.

Harry: You can open your eyes now!

Harrysbabe: Noo-aaaarrrggghhh!!...can you land it now?...aaahhh.I can't look down-.I'm falling off and it's soo uncomfortable..aaahhhhh!!!

Harry: Aren't you enjoying the ride then?

Harrysbabe: NOOOO!:unsure:!! Please land it now I have something to tell you and my hair is a mess!!

Harry: Ok, I know a spell to fix your hair.

Harrysbabe: Do you?

They land and Harrysbabe shakily dismounts broom.

Harrysbabe: That is the last time you get me on that thing!

Harry: Lets sort out your hair then.

Harry points wand at Harrysbabe's hair and shouts..

Harry: Straightus Folicalis!!

Harrysbabe: Oh wow my hair is lovely and straight!!*flutters eyes at Harry*.

Harry: You need to tell me something?

Harrysbabe: Yes, do you know somewhere quiet we can go?

Harry: Yes-.the Room of Requirement.

Harrysbabe: Ok-..come on lets go we are wasting time!

They walk up the grounds towards the huge oak castle doors. Inside the castle is busy with students hurrying to the Great Hall.

Harry: Must be lunch time!

Harrysbabe: We haven't got time-.come on, where is this Room of Requirement??

Harry: Follow me-.

Harrysbabe takes a look at herself in a passing mirror and pouts..*Still gorgeous she thinks*.

After walking down endless corridors, stairs, more corridors and more stairs they eventually reach a small old door with a large handle.

Harry: Da da da da-..this is it!

Harrysbabe: Where???

Harry: Here silly!!

Harry opens the door and they enter a large room with a roaring fire, comfy sofa, widescreen plasma TV and a very large four poster bed!!.

Harrysbabe: What a strange room!!

Harry: So what do you want to tell me then?

Harrysbabe: Well--.*goes on in great lengths to explain about Jess, Can and Colin and the quest for the orbs-.

An hour later*yawns*

Harry: Wow-..you can really bring Sirius back??

Harrysbabe: Well we hope so or Queen Jess will be mortified!!

Harry: Ok -I see, and you want me to help you?

Harrysbabe: Oh Harry would you?* looks seductively into his green eyes*.

Harry: Of course, anything for you* grins*.But I would like something in return*looks wicked*.

Harrysbabe: Anything-..just ask!!

Harry suddenly puts his arms around Harrysbabe and pulls her close to him-

Harry: How about a kiss then??

Harrysbabe: I don't need asking twice!!

About half and hour later they come up for air-.

Harrysbabe: *Gasping* WOW-.that was some kiss Harry!!!

Harry: * Grins and runs fingers through hair* Well I've never had any complaints!!

Two hours later :D!,they emerge from the Room of Requirement looking as though they've been dragged around the Forbidden Forest by Centaurs!!

Harry: Let's go and look for this Orb then!

Harrysbabe: I wonder where we should start looking?

Harry: Search me!

Harrysbabe: *Giggling*-.We don't have time Harry!!

Harry: No-..I meant-.

Harrysbabe: If only I could remember what that weird guy said back in chapter one-..

Suddenly!!!

Harrysbabe: YES!!, I can remember there are four Orbs hidden in the four houses of Hogwarts.We need to go to Gryffindor Tower!!

They quickly made their way down corridors,up staircases,down corridors etc until they came to the Fat Lady's portrait.

Harry: *shouts* Drama Queen!!

The portrait swings open and they walk into the common room.It is deserted and the fire is blazing.

Harrysbabe: Ooh those armchairs look soo cosy!

Harry: I thought we had to find the Orb?

Harrysbabe: *sighs* Ok--lets look around*yawns*

Harry: There's nothing in here!!

Harrysbabe: I'll go and check the girls dorm

Harry: Ok I'll go and check the boys

Harrysbabe climbs the long staircase to the girls dormitory and opens the door.

Harrysbabe: Wow these beds look soo comfy and I'm really tired-.i wonder how Harry is getting on?

After having a good look around and finding nothing she decides to go back to the common room.Harry is waiting for her.

Harry: Any luck?

Harrysbabe: No!....you?

Harry : No!.....but hang on a minute,I've just thought.Dobby always cleans up the common room every morning shall we ask him if he found it ?

Harrysbabe: It's worth a try-..come on lets go we don't have much time left!

They race down the marble staircase and make their way to the kitchens.

Harrysbabe: *out of breath* Come on Harry knock on the door!!

Harry: *knock knock*

The door opens and there stands Dobby* looking guilty*

Dobby: HARRY POTTER! What can Dobby do for the great Harry Potter?*bows*

Harry: I need to ask you a question Dobby,can we come in?

Harrysbabe: * Pulls a brightly coloured sock from her robe pocket* Here Dobby-.i thought you might like it for your err collection?*grins*

Dobby: *snatches sock* Please enter!!* bows humbly*

Harrysbabe: It's amazing what a bit of bribary can do*laughs*

Harry: Dobby,when you cleaned the common room this morning did you find anything?

Dobby: I might have* looks guilty*

Harrysbabe: If you show us what you found then I'll give you the matching sock and another pair!!

Harry: I command you to show us!!* Pulls out wand and points it at Dobby*

Dobby: Oh please don't hurt a humble house elf* sneaks off to a dark corner of the kitchen and returns with a piece of filthy rag wrapped around something that is suspiciously glowing*

Dobby unwraps the Orb and gives it to Harry.

Harry: Thank-you Dobby*grins*

Harrysbabe: Great we have the Orb!.Now lets go and find Jess,Can and Colin.I think they are in the Great Hall!!

Harry: I need to eat-..

Harrysbabe: HARRY!! Have you got the Pot Noodle horn??* looks at Harry giggling*

Harry: Yes I have and I'm going to blow it!!

Harrysbabe: Come on we haven't got time for Pot Noodle we have to go!!!.Jess will be waiting!!

Harry: Spoilsport!!*sulks*

******************************
Authors note: Pot Noodle horn is an extremely funny English TV advert for those who don't know
<center>Quartet Productions Present -Harry Potter and the Quest of Jess!
and....
The Continuing Adventures of Dark Lord Can - A Sequal to 'The Quest of Jess!'
Written by Colin Xavier, Can, Jess and Harrysbabe!

#23
ClosetHPF

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This must be a dream come true for harrysbabe - meeting Harry and spending a lot of time with him, esp. in the Room of Requirement (So how was the kiss, harrysbabe :unsure: ). It's really nice of Harry to help the quartet find the orbs.

Nice addition to the story, harrysbabe. :D
The Rock of Ages General <span style='color:yellow'>Last Update: 28 May 2007</span>

#24
harrysbabe

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Lol!!....glad you enjoyed it Closet :D .I had such fun writing it and by the way the coughkisscough was GREAT :D

xHarrysbabex :unsure:
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Gorgeous sig by the talented Master of Magic!!



Quartet Productions Present -Harry Potter And The Quest Of Jess!

#25
Can

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Wow! I haven't had time to thank everyone individually. So her goes....

ClosetHPF: Thanks for reading, I'm glad you're enjoying it

Stuart: You are a real sport dahling! Don't take the issues' I have with you, very seriously :unsure:

Wolf: YAY! Your back! Great to have you on board :D

Scarlet: You don't have wait long for the next chappy

Chloe: Thanks for reading! And oh, I'm not really a Dark Lady *Whistles innocently*

Hollycat: Thanks for reading! The RBGK scene was the best part of chapter one, apart from Stuart's scenes of course :blink:

Selpharry: Glad you liked it, more coming soon :D

The next chapter is written by me! Hope you guys like it.
<center>Quartet Productions Present -Harry Potter and the Quest of Jess!
and....
The Continuing Adventures of Dark Lord Can - A Sequal to 'The Quest of Jess!'
Written by Colin Xavier, Can, Jess and Harrysbabe!

#26
Hollycat

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Great chapter Harrysbabe! (but - what happened to chapter three guys?) :unsure:

I particulaly liked the fact that Harry was caring enough to strighten your hair for you. And he seems to have gained a considerable amount of confidence with women :D :D

When Jess does another chapter I do hope she writes in some Hermione - I think she's brilliant at that, I can just hear her in my head.

Keep up the good work and fifty house points each for a great read!

#27
Jess

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When Jess does another chapter I do hope she writes in some Hermione - I think she's brilliant at that, I can just hear her in my head.


Oh I write her well do I dahling! *ponders* AHA! It was you who nominated me for QOTW I knew it! :unsure: Thanks!

Cans not a dark lady *cough* You'll all just have to wait till the next chapter *grins*

you are my sweetest downfall. <3


#28
Can

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(but - what happened to chapter three guys?) :unsure:


Oops! :D The error has been corrected.
<center>Quartet Productions Present -Harry Potter and the Quest of Jess!
and....
The Continuing Adventures of Dark Lord Can - A Sequal to 'The Quest of Jess!'
Written by Colin Xavier, Can, Jess and Harrysbabe!

#29
Scarlett

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Hehe yay another chapter! :D Jinkies harrysbabe your dream finally came true! :unsure: Ooh i wonder whats going to happen next! :D
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#30
Can

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Chapter Four: A day in the life of a Dark Lord

Written by: Can


Can: *Strolls into Slytherin dungeon, looks around* Dark and dingy *Strokes chin* My kind of place *Bumps into someone* Watch it!

Draco: *Eyebrows raised in mystery* Who the heck are you?!

Can: *Takes regal pose* I'm Dark Lord of the Snitch!

Draco: *Bewildered* The Snitch? Whats that?!

Can: *Scoffs* Only the biggest organization of fans devoted to Harry Potter!

Draco: Scarhead's got fans?! *Laughs* That'll be the day!

Can: *Annoyed* I have no time for mindless chatter, I have a Queen to overthrow, and then I shall rule as Dark Lord of the the Snitch!

Draco: Dark Lord? Shouldn't you be Dark Lady?

Can: Enough! Now I shall be the one to ask the questions. There is an orb here I need to find, where is it?

Draco: Orb? No idea *Fakes innocent look*

Can: Your lying!

Draco: What makes you say that?

Can: I can sense it, spill now! Otherwise pay for insubordination

Draco: I'm not saying anything! You wannabe Dark Lord of a unknown organization that supports Potter.

Can: You annoy me worm! *Evil stare*

Draco: *Evil stare as well* You have no idea who your dealing with! Leave now and forget about the orb

Can: Are you telling me what to do?*One eyebrow raised* Ha, ha, most amusing!

Draco: I am leader of Slytherin house! You will have to go through me if you want the orb *Takes out wand*

Can: *Takes out wand as well and looks at it bewildered* What the heck is this?

Pansy Parkinson: *Walks in* Oh, Draco! *Looks at Can* Who is she? *Jealous*

Draco: *Nervous* Er... No one!

Can: No one? I'm insulted! *Sarcastic*

Draco: I was just about to finish her, care to watch?

Can: Finish me? *Scoffs* I'd like to see you try!

Pansy: Oh, I'd love to, but have you forgotten about our little meeting in the astronomy tower today

Draco: *Cough* Er... Yeah, I mean no! Of course I haven't forgotten, lets go *Turns to leave*

Pansy: *To Draco* Aren't you saying bye to your friend? *Eyes Can*

Draco: Oh, yeah, *Evil stare* We shall finish this later

Can: *Evil stare as well* Yes! I shall finish you later

Draco: *Sneers at Can, walks away with Pansy*

Can: Fools! They have no idea what the dark side is capable of *Walks further into dungeon, eyes the Slytherin's* Minions! Come to me! *Turns on force mind control*

Slytherin's: *In trance* Yes master! *Falls to Can's feet*

Can: And now I shall take over Slytherin house! *Evil dark lordish laugh*

Draco: Not while I'm here! *Walks in menacingly*

Can: You again! I shall crush you like a bug!

Draco: I'm leader of Slytherin house

Can: Not any more, there was a revolution while you were all lovey dovey with Pansy Parkinson in the astronomy tower

Draco: What! I.... Er... *Extreme blush*

Slytherin Minions: Awwwwwwwww

Draco: *Embarrassed* Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Can: Minions! Remember, we are evil!

Slytherin Minions: Duh, okay! *All point at Draco* Haw, haw, haw!

Draco: You can't do this!

Can: I'm leader of Slytherin house, what I say goes!

Draco: How about we test that

Can: *To Slytherin Minions* Go!

Slytherin Minions: *Goes*

Can: *To Draco* See!

Draco: *Confused* What?

Can: You're thicker than I though. Really now? What kind of a former leader are you anyway? *Sarcastic*

Draco: *Angry* You shall pay for this *Takes out wand*

Can: *Takes out wand as well* I don't need this crap! *Tosses wand away and uses force lighting on Draco* Mu ha ha!

Draco: *Sprawled on the floor panting after a lot of torture* You..... are..... very powerful!

Can: *Takes regal pose* I know! I can sense that you're powerful too, come to my side, become my minion

Draco: Eh, minion?*Offended* I think I deserve a higher status than that

Can: Take the position I give you, if you care for your life that is

Draco: But my lady....

Can: Lord!

Draco: Er... My Lord, just give me an opportunity to show what I'm truly made of, make me your apprentice, and I shall eliminate anything that comes in your way

Can: *Ponders* Are you any good at making evil plots to destroy annoying Queens?

Draco: No! But I can try

Can: Well, it's not like I have any other choice, *Declares* I now make you my apprentice!

Colin: *Pops in* Hey, hey, hey! What about me?

Can: What about you? And how did you get in Slytherin house?

Colin: Thats not the point! You said you would make me your apprentice, and now gel-boy is getting the position, I want an explanation *Crosses arms*

Can: Enough! I have spoken!

Colin: *Scoffs* I thought things are going to be a little different now that you've taken over

Can: Oh, they will be, just wait and watch! I will alter all the ridiculous decisions Jess has made over her reign

Colin: Will I still be Trumpet Boy?

Can: Yes, but you will have your on forum, where you can open various threads on Trumpets, a chat room dedicated to Trumpets, a special chair shaped like a Trumpet etc, etc....

Colin: *Sulks* I need to get out of this place *Leaves*

Draco: My Lord, *Looks at Can who's still talking about Trumpets* He's gone!

Can: Oh, thank heavens! *Straightens up* I now need the orb *Bright light appears in front of Can* Sheesh! Another cliché.

A tiny blue orb appears in mid-air, with a single piece of parchment tied to it.

Can: Finally! *Picks up the paper and reads it aloud* A mystical orb that can do various mystical things, in order to find it one must uncover where it's securely hidden, example:In Slytherin, only the leader of the house has access to the orb.

Draco: *Smiles ruefully* That used to be me!

Can: Not any more, now I have one of the four orbs needed to resurrect Sirius. I'm sure the others have not found their respective orbs yet, unlike me. After all, I do have something they don't

Draco:*Eagerly* Me!

Can: No, you moron! My ingenious mind *Points to head* I shall now go to the Snitch throne room and wait the arrival of the other fools and when Sirius is resurrected, Jess's attention will be diverted and it will be the perfect opportunity to overthrow Jess, Mu ha ha!

**************************

A/N: Just to remind you guys, Dark Lord Can is nothing like the real me *Whistles innocently*




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